1 00:00:34,590 --> 00:00:35,590 That's it. 2 00:00:35,710 --> 00:00:36,710 That's the one. 3 00:00:41,930 --> 00:00:43,050 Makes you a bit wobbly. 4 00:00:43,370 --> 00:00:46,670 So would yours be if you'd spent all winter on your back underneath a ton of 5 00:00:46,670 --> 00:00:47,670 bone meal? 6 00:00:47,730 --> 00:00:48,730 Sounds fun, though. 7 00:00:50,530 --> 00:00:52,090 Shouldn't it be a grill thing? 8 00:00:52,850 --> 00:00:57,130 You see that folded -up tarpaulin in the far corner by the rake? Yeah. 9 00:00:57,870 --> 00:00:59,490 Don't ever look under there. 10 00:01:02,710 --> 00:01:03,710 Told you. 11 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:05,680 That sucks. 12 00:01:05,820 --> 00:01:07,920 All I know is there's a pool a bit and it moves. 13 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:12,060 Even E .T. ran out screaming and jumped back in his flying saucer. 14 00:01:13,340 --> 00:01:15,680 You'll see, Phil. You can't let him use this. 15 00:01:16,580 --> 00:01:17,580 Try the hose. 16 00:01:18,140 --> 00:01:21,680 Why is it that for ten months of the year they'd rather enter the Temple of 17 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:22,680 than the kitchen? 18 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:23,880 I know. 19 00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:27,700 If we'd ever been on Ask the Family, they wouldn't have had to bother to show 20 00:01:27,700 --> 00:01:29,720 household object from an unusual angle. 21 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:32,540 They could have just shown a gas cooker from the French. 22 00:01:33,980 --> 00:01:38,180 with my rusty pan full of coal and a chunk of dead flesh and the caveman 23 00:01:38,180 --> 00:01:39,300 instinct comes out. 24 00:01:40,220 --> 00:01:42,700 Oh, there's a snail. 25 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:44,880 I'll give it here. 26 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:48,820 A snail? 27 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:54,060 Well, she deserves it. All I've heard from her for the past month is, good 28 00:01:54,060 --> 00:01:55,700 to prune the roses, Mrs. Porter. 29 00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:59,460 Your rose certainly rambles, doesn't it, Mrs. Porter? 30 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:02,840 Wouldn't that to borrow our second herd, Mrs. Porter? 31 00:02:03,550 --> 00:02:05,690 I've a good mind to shove a frog up a nightdress. 32 00:02:06,810 --> 00:02:08,289 Is that working? 33 00:02:11,330 --> 00:02:12,330 Rona? 34 00:02:14,690 --> 00:02:16,010 Oh, sorry. 35 00:02:16,730 --> 00:02:18,650 I was just thinking about cavemen. 36 00:02:25,930 --> 00:02:28,190 Is everything all right over there? 37 00:02:28,770 --> 00:02:30,950 Just pruning the roses, Mrs Grimes. 38 00:02:31,230 --> 00:02:32,230 Oh. 39 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:33,280 All right, dear. 40 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:37,160 You've started it. You needed it. 41 00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:42,580 Nethered. This is another snail. 42 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:49,720 Do you have to finish this this evening? 43 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:52,040 I'm not wasting any time on it tomorrow. 44 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:56,000 I've got far worse things to waste it on, like the bloody shopping. 45 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:21,418 Barbecue sauce. 46 00:03:21,420 --> 00:03:24,440 I think that's just about everything that can possibly take the taste away. 47 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:26,280 Where's Ben? 48 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:29,380 I hope. He's gone to get the stuff from the supermarket with David. 49 00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:31,440 Ah, good. So it's safe. 50 00:03:31,780 --> 00:03:33,100 What's safe? To talk. 51 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:34,440 Oh, not quite. 52 00:03:34,540 --> 00:03:35,980 Jenny! What? 53 00:03:36,580 --> 00:03:37,580 I'm listening. 54 00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:39,700 God! 55 00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:42,800 God, she's doing her homework. 56 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:46,000 I told her if she did it all week she could see drains. Spin. 57 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:47,240 Whatever. 58 00:03:47,740 --> 00:03:48,739 So then. 59 00:03:48,740 --> 00:03:49,740 So. 60 00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:57,540 I told you, I threw it away. 61 00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:59,100 But you got it out again. 62 00:03:59,380 --> 00:04:00,940 Yes, but I threw it away again. 63 00:04:01,300 --> 00:04:05,340 So, you got it out twice and you threw it away twice? 64 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:07,120 Yes. Now, how have you still got it? 65 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:14,080 No, I threw it away twice and I got it out once. Where did you train? The KGB? 66 00:04:15,780 --> 00:04:17,600 I went to convent school, remember? 67 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:20,220 Sister Virtue was Heinrich Himmler in a wimple. 68 00:04:29,230 --> 00:04:31,590 Oh, I've got to get back and get changed. 69 00:04:31,830 --> 00:04:32,830 I'll get your clothes. 70 00:04:32,910 --> 00:04:34,650 I met an air steward last night. 71 00:04:34,950 --> 00:04:36,150 Oh, I thought they were all gay. 72 00:04:36,690 --> 00:04:39,750 Don't you believe it. Why do you think the hostesses are always smiling? 73 00:04:41,590 --> 00:04:44,230 Not just the oxygen masks that drop automatically. 74 00:04:46,170 --> 00:04:47,370 Just be careful. 75 00:04:47,890 --> 00:04:49,090 I always am. 76 00:04:49,850 --> 00:04:52,430 If all goes well, I might get a free flight on Virgin. 77 00:04:52,690 --> 00:04:55,430 Well, I suppose miracles do happen. 78 00:04:57,750 --> 00:04:58,750 Happy shopping. 79 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:01,100 Yeah, I'll laugh all the way to the toilet roll. 80 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:06,800 Here 81 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:17,220 we 82 00:05:17,220 --> 00:05:21,800 are. Charcoal, wood, fluid, bulk, tongs, and close your eyes, close your eyes. 83 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:26,760 Buffalo bit. 84 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:29,560 of the Barbie. 85 00:05:31,340 --> 00:05:34,600 You've got to see this. You've got to see this. One full -size, solid steel, 86 00:05:34,700 --> 00:05:36,600 chromium -plated spit. You can get anything on there. 87 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:40,000 Chicken, beef, venison, pad rotti. 88 00:05:41,740 --> 00:05:42,639 Very nice. 89 00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:43,640 Where's the food? 90 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:45,440 Food? 91 00:05:45,540 --> 00:05:48,900 You know, the stuff I prize off your shirts once a week. 92 00:05:49,420 --> 00:05:51,260 Well, you get that, don't you? 93 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:53,480 Well, what were we going to have? 94 00:05:54,180 --> 00:05:55,180 Fish finger. 95 00:05:55,470 --> 00:05:57,230 I suppose we could thread them onto the spit. 96 00:05:57,490 --> 00:06:03,090 Look, this is a barbecue. I want huge chunks of bloody steak. 97 00:06:03,510 --> 00:06:04,550 With veins in it. 98 00:06:04,830 --> 00:06:08,410 Yes, well, the pixies don't leave it under the rosebush, you know. I have to 99 00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:10,150 shopping. What if some are in the freezer? 100 00:06:10,550 --> 00:06:12,870 Oh, Ben, that's ages old. 101 00:06:13,090 --> 00:06:14,090 No, I've got it right. 102 00:06:14,510 --> 00:06:16,350 Well, if you can get it out, you can cook it. 103 00:06:16,850 --> 00:06:17,850 David. 104 00:06:19,830 --> 00:06:22,810 Right, David, go and get my stone chisel and hammer from the van. 105 00:06:25,900 --> 00:06:27,880 have you? No, I'll open it later. 106 00:06:29,660 --> 00:06:32,560 Not on the table. Yes, my precious. 107 00:06:32,940 --> 00:06:36,500 Shall I find the fire lighters or will you still be blowing on the coals during 108 00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:39,800 news at ten? I think you should know that I've been faking my charcoal 109 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:42,940 for some time thanks to lighter fluid. 110 00:06:45,420 --> 00:06:48,680 What? Just committing your eyebrows to memory. 111 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:18,020 in the microwave to defrost? Ben, this wouldn't defrost if you bunged it in 112 00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:21,000 Chernobyl. Oh, you little fake. 113 00:07:21,340 --> 00:07:22,600 Well, I'll do my best. 114 00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:26,440 I'm going to tell you that's a lie. No, not those. I'm saving those. Find some 115 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:27,440 other paper. 116 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:34,640 So, it's all over to you then. 117 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:37,640 Just you relax, my little treasure. Leave it all up to us. 118 00:07:46,990 --> 00:07:47,990 and salad in a while. 119 00:07:48,290 --> 00:07:49,290 Right. 120 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,430 And some garlic for it to go down very well. 121 00:07:54,610 --> 00:07:55,630 And some chips. 122 00:07:56,070 --> 00:07:57,070 And some fried onions. 123 00:07:58,030 --> 00:08:00,450 It's nice to have a break once in a while. 124 00:08:04,810 --> 00:08:10,850 No, it isn't. I like it. It's chewy. 125 00:08:11,130 --> 00:08:13,050 We'll probably get mad cow disease. 126 00:08:23,150 --> 00:08:24,550 I might have known it'd be my fault. 127 00:08:24,790 --> 00:08:28,990 You just don't care, do you? I do care. I just can't stop them. It's a complete 128 00:08:28,990 --> 00:08:29,990 waste of resources. 129 00:08:30,530 --> 00:08:31,530 Like your bra. 130 00:08:31,770 --> 00:08:32,770 Mother! 131 00:08:33,909 --> 00:08:37,970 I'm talking about... about that again. 132 00:08:38,289 --> 00:08:42,370 David, I told you. All women have small bras to begin with. They're nothing 133 00:08:42,370 --> 00:08:44,810 special. That's what a boyfriend says. 134 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:54,040 eating this anymore. 135 00:08:54,180 --> 00:08:55,280 I'm turning vegetarian. 136 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:57,080 Meat is good for you. 137 00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:58,400 More, anyone? 138 00:09:01,260 --> 00:09:02,260 I've had enough. 139 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:06,640 Next time you go shopping, remember, I don't want you to bring home any more 140 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:07,660 dead animals. 141 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:10,440 What am I supposed to do, batter them to death in the kitchen? 142 00:09:11,860 --> 00:09:12,860 I'm going upstairs. 143 00:09:13,660 --> 00:09:14,680 You've got mad... 144 00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:24,600 history project. 145 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:25,760 Oh, it's boring. 146 00:09:26,180 --> 00:09:27,460 Oh, there's the washing up. 147 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:29,040 History. 148 00:09:32,540 --> 00:09:38,340 All right? 149 00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:39,560 Uh, yes. 150 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:44,120 My date didn't look like that. 151 00:09:44,860 --> 00:09:46,760 I don't like mine well done. Where it is? 152 00:09:53,130 --> 00:09:56,870 I suppose I'll have to spend a fortune on beans and lentils. A couple of weeks 153 00:09:56,870 --> 00:09:58,830 on that and the ozone layer will be blown away completely. 154 00:10:00,950 --> 00:10:03,530 Do you think it's too late to have them reared by wolves? 155 00:10:04,130 --> 00:10:05,350 A bit tough on the wolves. 156 00:10:07,150 --> 00:10:08,049 Right, then. 157 00:10:08,050 --> 00:10:09,470 Oh, I'm not in love with anything. 158 00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:11,010 You've got to open it sometime. 159 00:10:11,330 --> 00:10:13,470 You know I am about those tax things. 160 00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:16,970 You sent back your return, didn't you? Yeah. And you paid the last demand. 161 00:10:17,230 --> 00:10:18,029 No one did. 162 00:10:18,030 --> 00:10:19,210 Then what is there to worry about? 163 00:10:20,030 --> 00:10:21,570 All right, all right, I'll open it. 164 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:23,180 In a minute. Now! 165 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:25,460 I've got indigestion. 166 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:27,720 Now! 167 00:10:28,220 --> 00:10:29,340 You're getting too good. 168 00:10:43,980 --> 00:10:44,980 Oh, what's it saying? 169 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:46,280 Oh, it's all right, I'll do it. 170 00:10:46,300 --> 00:10:48,280 Can I see it? Oh, it's nothing. Don't cry. 171 00:10:52,140 --> 00:10:53,860 You've been called in to be the inspector of taxes. 172 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:54,859 That's correct. 173 00:10:54,860 --> 00:10:55,860 What have you done? 174 00:10:56,220 --> 00:10:58,220 Nothing. You haven't been fiddling the figures? 175 00:10:58,520 --> 00:10:59,520 No more than usual. 176 00:10:59,540 --> 00:11:00,540 Big! 177 00:11:00,940 --> 00:11:04,300 Everybody does it. They know that. It's probably just a routine check. 178 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:06,620 Try not to worry. 179 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:08,440 I'm not worried. Good. 180 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,860 Jenny, that's not a prison. 181 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:15,880 Excuse me, do you mind if I take this trolley? 182 00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:17,260 Tough. 183 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:19,440 Everybody wants to go on cake. 184 00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:21,420 You won't put me on cake. 185 00:12:27,100 --> 00:12:30,420 Deborah's always on cakes. She don't even like being on cake. 186 00:12:30,620 --> 00:12:35,480 Don't even do check -outs. Just take, take, take for her. You could go on 187 00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:36,740 No, I'd be better on cakes. 188 00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:38,980 You wouldn't be better on Benzedrine. 189 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:42,560 Well, back to the can, please. 190 00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:46,480 Have you got your number, madam? 191 00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:47,840 Yes. 192 00:12:49,450 --> 00:12:50,590 I'm only serving 47. 193 00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:52,790 There's nobody else here. 194 00:12:53,150 --> 00:12:54,150 This isn't 47. 195 00:12:57,130 --> 00:12:58,130 Well, 196 00:12:58,670 --> 00:12:59,389 it is now. 197 00:12:59,390 --> 00:13:00,670 12 ounces of ham. 198 00:13:01,850 --> 00:13:03,630 You don't get this on cakes. 199 00:13:54,690 --> 00:13:55,770 Please, gentlemen. 200 00:13:57,550 --> 00:14:02,610 How can you eat that rabbit food? 201 00:14:03,370 --> 00:14:04,370 It's revolting. 202 00:14:06,790 --> 00:14:07,910 Can you hear that noise? 203 00:14:09,210 --> 00:14:12,510 What? I think it's the sound of your arteries turning to Portland stone. 204 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:17,380 20 years' time, your varicose veins will look like an onyx table like the man. 205 00:14:17,580 --> 00:14:20,720 Mama always said that good plain food never hurt my dad. 206 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:22,080 Leave it, aren't we? 207 00:14:23,580 --> 00:14:25,780 You're not still worried about this tax thing, are you? No. 208 00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:30,620 I've never tweeted anything in the past before. Look, I shouldn't worry about 209 00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:33,340 that. They can go back years if they want to. 210 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,200 Charger for things ages ago. 211 00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:38,100 And demand interest. 212 00:14:38,620 --> 00:14:40,780 Thank you, Claire Rayner and Anna Rayburn. 213 00:14:42,350 --> 00:14:45,450 They even tried to stop me for all the improvements on this place. 214 00:14:47,050 --> 00:14:49,710 What improvements? 215 00:14:50,070 --> 00:14:51,070 Oh, you'd be surprised. 216 00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:52,390 I would. 217 00:14:52,810 --> 00:14:56,090 This was a right sleazy dive when I took it over. 218 00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:59,890 They're doing us entrepreneurs out of business. 219 00:15:00,590 --> 00:15:05,390 Look, they'll haul you over the coals good and proper, but they shouldn't let 220 00:15:05,390 --> 00:15:06,390 worry you. I won't. 221 00:15:06,630 --> 00:15:10,070 I don't expect you'll have to fear too much. I'll declare your wages as well, 222 00:15:10,070 --> 00:15:11,130 you know. Oh, bloody hell. 223 00:15:12,430 --> 00:15:16,870 If you can't pay, they can always seize your property. 224 00:15:17,330 --> 00:15:18,750 No, I don't have any property. 225 00:15:19,070 --> 00:15:22,050 Can we leave this subject, please? Thank you very much. 226 00:15:24,950 --> 00:15:28,010 Did you hear the one of the Englishman and the Irishman and the Scotsman? 227 00:15:28,210 --> 00:15:29,210 Yeah, I did. 228 00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:30,710 Didn't understand her. 229 00:15:32,950 --> 00:15:37,030 And of course, that's how they got Al Capone in the end. 230 00:15:37,710 --> 00:15:38,930 Tax evasion. 231 00:16:02,060 --> 00:16:03,060 Store detective. 232 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:05,100 Sounds like a show on Sky TV. 233 00:16:05,580 --> 00:16:08,600 Don't try to make friends with me. This is my job. 234 00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:14,860 I suppose you were expecting a man. 235 00:16:15,260 --> 00:16:16,260 Not particularly. 236 00:16:17,380 --> 00:16:21,020 Hoping to talk to him about PMT and hormones, were you? 237 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:23,180 No man had PMT. 238 00:16:24,580 --> 00:16:26,780 I think you should know this is a waste of time. 239 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:28,680 I've already called the police. 240 00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:31,360 I've had them all up here, you know. 241 00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:37,880 Duchesses, JPs, and lots and lots of bored housewives. 242 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:40,920 It's immaterial, really. 243 00:16:41,780 --> 00:16:44,020 Theft is the fame in any clothing. 244 00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:45,820 I am not a thief. 245 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:49,040 What makes a woman like you think she can get away with it? 246 00:16:49,900 --> 00:16:50,960 Doesn't really matter. 247 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:53,840 We always prosecute. 248 00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:57,900 I have all the proof I need on video. 249 00:16:58,400 --> 00:16:59,400 Oh, yes? 250 00:16:59,620 --> 00:17:00,620 Yes. 251 00:17:01,350 --> 00:17:03,010 Neither of us have time to waste. 252 00:17:03,430 --> 00:17:05,410 So why don't we just tie this up quickly? 253 00:17:06,190 --> 00:17:09,710 Why don't you just admit you were stealing and save us all a great deal of 254 00:17:09,710 --> 00:17:10,710 trouble? 255 00:17:12,910 --> 00:17:15,130 You don't like being a woman, do you? 256 00:17:15,470 --> 00:17:16,710 I beg your pardon? 257 00:17:17,650 --> 00:17:18,650 I thought not. 258 00:17:19,069 --> 00:17:22,130 It's nothing to be ashamed of. You've got hormones too. 259 00:17:22,369 --> 00:17:24,250 Would you keep them at home in a biscuit tin? What? 260 00:17:25,490 --> 00:17:30,190 If you call me a thief once more, I shall take great delight in... 261 00:17:30,410 --> 00:17:33,510 you for false arrest. Well, we'll see what the police have to say about that. 262 00:17:33,750 --> 00:17:36,250 Oh, no, we won't, I think, because you haven't called them yet. 263 00:17:36,490 --> 00:17:37,590 Oh, you seem very sure. 264 00:17:37,870 --> 00:17:38,629 I am. 265 00:17:38,630 --> 00:17:41,790 First of all, the only people you have evidence against is Harold and Madge 266 00:17:41,790 --> 00:17:46,410 watering down the milkshakes at Daphne's. And secondly, you are carrying 267 00:17:46,410 --> 00:17:49,890 inferiority complex with you, you wouldn't want to miss the chance to 268 00:17:49,890 --> 00:17:53,130 about this room like that demented warder from Prisoner Cell Block H. 269 00:17:53,370 --> 00:17:54,770 That woman is a saint! 270 00:18:04,590 --> 00:18:08,470 security. And while you've been playing the great detective, the real thief's 271 00:18:08,470 --> 00:18:09,770 gone away with a pile of steak. 272 00:18:11,410 --> 00:18:14,490 Now, shall I call a solicitor? 273 00:18:16,730 --> 00:18:17,730 I'm sorry. 274 00:18:19,010 --> 00:18:21,170 I've been rather tense lately. 275 00:18:23,890 --> 00:18:25,770 Most probably PMT. 276 00:18:26,970 --> 00:18:29,470 I can get some leaflets from your doctor. 277 00:18:29,770 --> 00:18:31,770 So you won't be charging us? 278 00:18:32,130 --> 00:18:33,210 Not this time. 279 00:18:33,870 --> 00:18:34,950 Thank you very much. 280 00:18:35,910 --> 00:18:37,350 Is there anything we can do? 281 00:18:39,730 --> 00:18:41,270 Well, yes, there is, actually. 282 00:18:42,310 --> 00:18:45,290 There's a girl on leaves with long, dark hair. 283 00:18:45,530 --> 00:18:47,350 Yes? She's very good. 284 00:18:47,650 --> 00:18:50,170 The manager should keep her there all the time. 285 00:19:03,050 --> 00:19:03,989 It's terrible. 286 00:19:03,990 --> 00:19:05,490 I quite like it. 287 00:19:06,390 --> 00:19:07,510 It's not funny. 288 00:19:07,830 --> 00:19:08,830 It is. 289 00:19:13,450 --> 00:19:14,650 That was funny. 290 00:19:16,850 --> 00:19:17,850 Yeah. 291 00:19:19,410 --> 00:19:20,670 That was funny. 292 00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:24,110 All right, all right. 293 00:19:24,790 --> 00:19:26,790 There you are. Oh, what'd I do? 294 00:19:27,070 --> 00:19:28,070 Nothing. 295 00:19:31,930 --> 00:19:32,930 a pony in the end, you know. 296 00:19:33,210 --> 00:19:34,310 Situation comedy? 297 00:19:36,310 --> 00:19:37,530 Tax evasion. 298 00:19:39,290 --> 00:19:42,910 Look, if you just admit you're worried, I won't think any less of you, you know. 299 00:19:43,570 --> 00:19:45,370 Remember those vows I made? 300 00:19:46,050 --> 00:19:47,050 Richer or poorer? 301 00:19:47,490 --> 00:19:48,550 Thinner or fatter? 302 00:19:49,170 --> 00:19:50,370 Normal or paranoid? 303 00:19:50,810 --> 00:19:51,769 All right. 304 00:19:51,770 --> 00:19:52,850 I am worried. 305 00:19:53,270 --> 00:19:54,270 Fair now. 306 00:19:54,330 --> 00:19:55,330 Don't you feel better? 307 00:19:55,870 --> 00:19:56,870 No. 308 00:19:57,510 --> 00:19:58,510 No, I do. 309 00:19:59,290 --> 00:20:00,910 I think we'll go and look at the garden. 310 00:20:02,510 --> 00:20:03,189 be worried. 311 00:20:03,190 --> 00:20:05,850 Mum? Good, you can help me with the tea thing. 312 00:20:06,150 --> 00:20:07,730 I noticed you never asked David. 313 00:20:07,990 --> 00:20:09,830 Would you want David touching your plate? 314 00:20:10,450 --> 00:20:12,810 Anyway, he's in training to be a man. 315 00:20:13,050 --> 00:20:15,870 Have you washed my blue jumper? 316 00:20:16,070 --> 00:20:17,610 No. You've had all day. 317 00:20:17,870 --> 00:20:22,530 I know, but first Bruce Willis dropped by, tripped down to an edible cheese 318 00:20:22,530 --> 00:20:27,130 drink, then Tom Cruise arrived to wrestle with Rob Lowe in a bar filled 319 00:20:27,130 --> 00:20:29,190 Bailey's Irish cream just for the plate. 320 00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:35,400 Excuse me while I laugh hysterically. Yes, well, starting next week, you can 321 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:39,760 tidy all bedrooms, including the twilight zone where your brother 322 00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:43,280 maybe you'd like to carry back enough shopping to give Hulk Hogan a hernia. 323 00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:46,040 Oh, can't Dad do it? 324 00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:51,460 Jackie's mother had the woman in to do her hat work. 325 00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:53,460 Jackie's mother is a stuck -up bitch. 326 00:20:55,780 --> 00:20:56,980 This is yours. 327 00:21:01,340 --> 00:21:02,340 Good. 328 00:21:02,660 --> 00:21:06,080 Anyway, I don't suppose you'll be going out with Finn now. 329 00:21:06,460 --> 00:21:07,740 What's that supposed to mean? 330 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:11,140 Well, that is a leather jacket he wears, isn't it? And leather boots. 331 00:21:11,380 --> 00:21:13,280 Or are they made from lentil? Who? 332 00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:16,740 I suppose you think you're being really clever. 333 00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:19,540 Well, either you mean what you say or you don't. 334 00:21:22,340 --> 00:21:24,180 This is what you do to a vegetarian. 335 00:21:33,740 --> 00:21:34,980 I'm not hungry. I think I'll go up to bed. 336 00:21:35,380 --> 00:21:36,380 I'll see you later. 337 00:21:39,780 --> 00:21:42,000 Dad, will you help us with the history project? 338 00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:43,500 Not tonight. Sonny, you're dead tired. 339 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:48,720 Debbie, go and wash your hands. 340 00:21:52,660 --> 00:21:53,660 Jenny? 341 00:21:53,900 --> 00:21:55,160 What's happened to those old newspapers? 342 00:21:55,620 --> 00:21:56,900 Why? Did you want them? 343 00:21:57,120 --> 00:21:58,120 I thought I did. 344 00:21:58,990 --> 00:22:00,210 I was going to throw them away. 345 00:22:00,610 --> 00:22:01,810 I didn't touch them. 346 00:22:02,050 --> 00:22:06,390 Well, I know Ben didn't. Mum, I want to see you make you some more glue. 347 00:22:10,690 --> 00:22:16,770 I expected you to be halfway to America with Richard Branson in a basket by now. 348 00:22:18,130 --> 00:22:19,570 Don't be snide, Bill. 349 00:22:19,930 --> 00:22:21,650 It was very interesting. 350 00:22:22,010 --> 00:22:25,950 Oh? Do you know in an emergency they can lower their undercarriage using a 351 00:22:25,950 --> 00:22:27,830 handle? You don't say. 352 00:22:28,360 --> 00:22:29,360 Did you try it out? 353 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:32,440 Hardly fancied him at all close up. 354 00:22:32,860 --> 00:22:36,320 They must breed them with tiny bums to fit between the seats easily. 355 00:22:37,300 --> 00:22:38,500 Far too bony. 356 00:22:38,780 --> 00:22:40,200 I like something to hold on to. 357 00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:43,880 When he bent over he looked like two little cling peaches on top of a French 358 00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:44,880 flan. 359 00:22:45,620 --> 00:22:47,140 But you did sleep with him? 360 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:49,980 Seemed wasteful not to. 361 00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:54,120 Rona? I know. 362 00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:56,540 What? You've still got that note. 363 00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:58,640 You've been looking shifty all morning. 364 00:22:58,880 --> 00:22:59,639 What happened? 365 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:00,820 You're looking shifty now. 366 00:23:01,660 --> 00:23:04,100 Well, now you're looking like you're trying not to look shifty. 367 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:08,300 Sister Virtue would have given you ten Hail Marys and a cold bath by now. 368 00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:10,320 I don't know what to do. 369 00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,520 Yes, you do throw it away. 370 00:23:13,540 --> 00:23:15,260 I can't. Why not? 371 00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:23,220 It stuck to a Tyrannosaurus Rex. 372 00:23:30,060 --> 00:23:32,140 There's only one way to put a stop to this. 373 00:23:32,820 --> 00:23:34,040 What are you doing? 374 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:35,680 Dialing. 375 00:23:36,060 --> 00:23:37,100 Rona, don't. 376 00:23:37,940 --> 00:23:38,940 It's ringing. 377 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:40,960 No, here. 378 00:23:47,780 --> 00:23:52,660 Hello. I don't expect you'll remember, but you left your number in my van. 379 00:23:55,260 --> 00:23:56,260 That's right. 380 00:23:57,600 --> 00:23:58,740 Um, yes? 381 00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:00,760 What's the address? 382 00:24:05,660 --> 00:24:06,880 Okay, I will. 383 00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:08,480 Bye. 384 00:24:10,940 --> 00:24:11,940 Well? 385 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:14,920 It was a customer. 386 00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:18,600 I saw the van parked and want Ben to fix his radiator. 387 00:24:20,120 --> 00:24:21,160 Are you disappointed? 388 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:26,320 Relieved. You didn't really want it to be him, did you? 389 00:24:26,540 --> 00:24:29,120 No. I love Ben too much. 390 00:24:31,210 --> 00:24:33,490 It's just that... I don't know. 391 00:24:34,170 --> 00:24:35,290 What's it all about? 392 00:24:37,830 --> 00:24:39,470 That's what we'd all like to know. 393 00:24:52,970 --> 00:24:56,030 Do not forsake me, oh... 394 00:25:06,769 --> 00:25:13,410 Do not forsake me, oh my darling. 395 00:25:14,990 --> 00:25:20,070 Wait, wait alone. 396 00:25:23,750 --> 00:25:26,110 I do not know. 397 00:26:27,180 --> 00:26:27,779 Any three? 398 00:26:27,780 --> 00:26:29,760 300. Well, that's not too bad. 399 00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:31,440 3 ,000. 400 00:26:33,180 --> 00:26:34,180 What? 401 00:26:35,340 --> 00:26:36,940 Miscalculation on the last three demands. 402 00:26:38,140 --> 00:26:39,260 Computer error. 403 00:26:40,180 --> 00:26:42,320 We don't have that kind of money. 404 00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:46,000 We do now. It's a rebate from Her Majesty. 405 00:26:47,300 --> 00:26:49,520 A rebate? Are you sure? 406 00:26:50,180 --> 00:26:51,900 Diana's going to have to give back that frock. 407 00:26:53,620 --> 00:26:56,620 3 ,000 pounds, 55 ,000 francs. 408 00:26:56,940 --> 00:26:58,340 500 million lira? 409 00:27:41,230 --> 00:27:42,129 No, Dean. 410 00:27:42,130 --> 00:27:46,290 Look, he might come in, so please try to be at your best. 411 00:27:46,590 --> 00:27:48,770 Don't worry. We'll just be ourselves. 412 00:27:53,570 --> 00:27:54,970 Maybe I'll wait for him outside. 413 00:27:55,330 --> 00:27:57,070 All right, but remember the rules. 414 00:27:57,550 --> 00:28:00,630 Straight to the cinema, straight home. 415 00:28:01,130 --> 00:28:02,470 Back by 11. 416 00:28:02,750 --> 00:28:05,270 And straight into the house. 417 00:28:05,610 --> 00:28:11,290 Oh, God! And no alcohol and no sniffing. glue. 418 00:28:12,770 --> 00:28:13,770 Good. 419 00:28:14,270 --> 00:28:17,170 Mother, you're so 70s. Bye, love. 420 00:28:17,410 --> 00:28:18,410 Have a good time. 421 00:28:42,030 --> 00:28:42,829 leather jacket. 422 00:28:42,830 --> 00:28:43,830 He did.